Ask me anything (Fire Away)
“ Sam Vimes once arrested me for treason. And Sam Vimes arrested a dragon. Sam Vimes stopped a war between nations by arresting two high commands. He’s an arresting fellow, Sam Vimes. Sam Vimes killed a werewolf with his bare hands and carries the law with him like a lamp… ”
Lord Havelock Vetinari, Thud! (Terry Pratchett)
all these dicks and you decide to suck the fun outta this party
nothing makes a gamer more nervous than when the game autosaves in a seemingly harmless location
"this is an awfully convenient collection of healing items"
"why is all this ammo here"
"where did all the enemies go"
"This room has rather a lot of wide, open space in it."
"The music stopped suddenly."
"No, there it is."
"….That’s an awful lot of bass."
( raises the roof but also raises my kids right )
There was a firefight!
“ Men’s rights activists don’t organize marches; they don’t build shelters or raise funds for abused men; they don’t organize prostate cancer-awareness events or campaign against prison rape. What they actually do, when they’re not simply carping in comments online, is target and harass women—from feminist writers and professors to activists—in an attempt to silence them. ”
I want to add to this that MRAs really aren’t there to help men.
I’m a Big Sister for Big Brothers Big Sisters and we run campaigns nationally every year that specifically target men to sign up to be Bigs. EVERY YEAR. Because the average wait for a girl to be matched to a female Big is 6 weeks after being enrolled. The average time for a boy to be matched with a male Big is 6 months to a year because so few men actually sign up to be mentors and many of them don’t actually complete the one year commitment to their Littles, either.
And this is a deficit that is particularly prevalent at my agency.
Mentoring a kid through a program like BBBS is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in my life. It has also been the most challenging thing I have ever done in my life. As a Big, I have a direct impact on someone else’s life and little boys, in particular, who do not have a father figure at home benefit very strongly from having a male mentor in their life. They typically do better in school, have a better social life, and are more likely to accomplish long-term goals and take responsibility for their actions and mistakes and learn from them.
If MRAs were ACTUALLY interested in helping men and boys, they would be mentors. But instead they sit on the internet in their Fedoras and bemoan the fact that women aren’t being forced by the government to sleep with them.
(We can argue about whether having MRAs be mentors to impressionable young men is a good idea in a separate post because obviously there are better role models for young men and boys but the point still stands that there are very clear things that MRAs could do to tangibly and immediately help men and boys but instead they focus all of their time and energy denigrating rape victims, berating feminists, and whining about services that specifically serve women.)
So, instead of just hand wringing about how males are targeted and denigrated within all aspects of life, I decided one way of trying to help would be to join the Big Brother Big Sister program. The first meeting I went to explained that there are twice as many boys looking for a match than there are girls. They said it was partly because more females than males volunteer. They didn’t mention how most boys have a mother in there life but no father because of the misandric divorce courts but I digress…
Anyways, as part of the process, I had a one on one interview with a female member of the organisation to assess if I was suitable to be a Big, and if so, they wanted to know about me so they could match me with a little. I mentioned that I carry a firearm everywhere I legally can, I also wanted to know what protections were in place to protect me from unfounded accusations, and I expressed how I couldn’t be with a Little if his father had been forcibly removed from his life because of the vindictive actions of the mother. I think the final one sealed my fate however. I’m not particularly upset at being rejected because after looking into it more, the activities deemed appropriate to do with your Little seem somewhat feminine, but it just further hammers home that even when you try to help because there are boys out there screaming for some positive male role models in there lives, you’re only allowed to show them masculine things that females deem are appropriate. It just makes me sick.
Yeah, because it has nothing to do with the fact that you said you would carry a gun around the kid, or suggested you might be accused of assaulting him and that the organization would need to stand up for you, or that you don’t want to help any children whose mother is divorced. It’s just so amazing how they don’t understand how screwed up they sound to everybody else. This is perfectly reasonable to the guy and the other forum members. -_- Also, he doesn’t sound like he cares about helping boys at all. It’s all about him, his hatred of divorced mothers, his need to carry a gun, his paranoia of “unfounded accusations”, and that the organization should stand up for his ‘rights’ over those of the child. He doesn’t come off as somebody who really cares about the kid he’d be helping, just somebody who wanted to do something to make himself feel good.
It is sad though that we don’t have more men volunteering and trying to help in these programs. :( (Though, not the MRAs, they would be so toxic for the kids.)
I’m currently sitting in bed watching spongebob and nursing a capri sun. I just got back from my local Planned Parenthood, where I had a Paraguard copper IUD inserted. In the weeks leading up to this, true to my extreme research addiction, I googled every combination of “IUD” “Insertion” and “pain” that I could think of to try and find a real account written by someone who had had an IUD inserted, but I didn’t find jack shit. So I hope the future obsessive researchers can read this and have some peace of mind from some pure information.
The first thing that happened when I got into the exam room was that I was asked for a urine sample and had a blood stick taken. These were to determine that I wasn’t pregnant nor anemic, since Paraguard can make your periods heavier and make existing anemia worse. In my consulting visit the week before, I’d had blood taken and a urine sample obtained to be tested for gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV and syphillis. When the results came back (normal, negative and not pregnant), the nurse’s assistant sat down with me and explained exactly how the insertion was going to go down. The nurse practitioner would measure my uterus so that she’d know how far to put the device in, and then she’d insert it with the long applicator stick/tube that it was preloaded in in the box (the nurse practitioner showed me this before she put it in).
After that, the nurse’s assistant left and I undressed from the waist down and spread the paper sheet over my lap, just like at a normal gyno visit. The nurse practitioner came in and she was extremely gentle and kind, and explained everything she was doing before she did it and checked on me and asked if I was okay at every step of the way. She did a quick pelvic exam without a speculum, feeling inside of my vagina and pressing on my abdomen, like a gyn does. Then she inserted the speculum and prepped my cervix for insertion with betadine.
Next, she used a weird kind of clampy device to hold my cervix in place, since it does move around (you can move it with your finger if you feel inside yourself). That pinched pretty bad but the pain was over quickly, like getting your ears pierced. The next part was the worst. She used a rod-like tool about the diameter of a bendy straw to dilate my cervix and measure my uterus. I took some deep breaths, but as soon as she inserted it through my cervix the cramping started. I never cramp terribly badly on my periods, and if I do it’s a one-and-done kind of deal where I’ll go about my business after a second of being doubled over. I’d say the measuring took about 30 seconds before she removed the tool and I’d rate it at a 7 on the crampy pain meter. For me, cramping is a lot easier to tolerate than sharp pains and I think I would have been able to tolerate much worse. I also forgot to mention that I took 600 mg of ibuprofen about an hour and a half before my appointment, which was recommended to me by the nurse practitioner on my consultation visit.
After the measuring, the nurse practitioner opened up the box containing my IUD and showed me what it looked like. It’s a little T shaped piece of plastic that she loaded into the applicator rod. The actual insertion of the IUD wasn’t too bad, but I was still cramping from the measuring when she came back over to put in the actual device, although it was much milder than before. The cramping sort of crescendoed a little bit as she inserted the device, and it was worst when it was put into place at the top of my uterus, I’d say about the same pain as the measuring, but it didn’t last nearly as long. Then it was done! She cut the strings shorter, took off the cervical clamp and took out the speculum and performed one final exam to make sure the strings were in a good place and let me on my merry way.
And the best part? NO COPAY. Thanks Obama! I’m protected from unplanned pregnancy until August of 2025!